With premature marital vows yielding climbing divorce rates, the lack of sanctity with which the institution of marriage is held today makes some Class of? 2012 bachelors and bachelorettes leery of walking down the isle. *cue ?Here Comes the Bride?* In this post, which was inspired by a topic of conversation amongst friends, I?d like to take a closer look at the umm?evolution of commitment or bastardization of marriage as a whole.
One could deduce that increasing divorce rates plus no shortage of children equals kids turned adults who are products of divorce and many left with a sour taste regarding matrimony. Without any real consideration for the exact reason behind the dissolution of the union, the effects felt due to divorce render various consequences to the innocent bystanders.
In certain instances, witnessing divorce first-hand can cause people to thirst for the very relationship that eluded the subjects of observation. Conversely, other people become immensely turned off from the very idea, adopting the ideology that marriage is only destined for divorce, so ?what?s the use??. A third type of mindset might yield a wise, cautious approach that allows a person to move carefully in his/her relationships so not to repeat the mistakes that they once viewed.
Now, I?m not married. I?m not even in the same zip code as ?ready to be married?, but I definitely hope to take a wife and enjoy a long life with her and my children and form a Huxtable family of sorts. *shrug* That is my hope. But, I grew up in a two-parent household with parents that have been married for almost 30 years. I have been fortunate enough see my mom treated well by my dad (and vice-versa), who personifies everything I strive to be in life.
With that said, I understand that this is no longer the norm; a far cry from it?especially with our generation, where fertilized eggs are utilized to display faux commitment moreso than wedding rings.
I pose these questions. Is this, in fact, a worse situation than divorce? What about people who remain committed without the perceived bondage of titles?40 year boyfriend-girlfriend relationships? Are these relationships less than valid or are they perfectly equal?
Some would argue that the people involved in non-traditional relationships are pioneers in a way, charting their own paths despite societal constructs. Others continue to dwell in the traditional thought that you meet your mate, date, fall in love, get married, and then have children in the ?proper order?.
Granted, everyone knows an exception to every rule, and with more media eyes peeled now than ever before examples of failed marriages are plentiful, some including abuse and/or infidelity. These don?t exactly serve as votes of confidence for the marriage advocates.
However, these examples are not. the. norm. When done correctly, adultery is not committed and neither is bottle-tossing, fist-throwing martial mayhem. What does occur, though, is a lifelong union, assuring that you have not only a best friend but also a true partner in life with the same objectives as you?to produce a lifetime of happiness; however it is you choose define it.
As far as committed, label-less relationships go, I suppose those could work, and from the perspective of just-in-case, separating would be much?cleaner. Leave with what you came. However, the beauty about relationships is that we have the freedom to make them our own.? What works for one person may not be the best situation for another, but that is their avenue to cruise.
Source: http://www.justgq.com/?p=1750
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